How everything in the house works.

Bedroom fans

A desk fan in the main bedroom, and usually a second one in the other room.

• Press the round button on the front to switch it on and to move through the three speeds.
• Angle it by hand, and leave the back of it clear.
• Tell me if a cable looks damaged or the fan is not the one described here.

Bluetooth speaker

A portable karaoke speaker that pairs with a phone like any other.

• Switch Bluetooth on for your phone.
• Switch the speaker on and wait for its start-up sound.
• In your phone's Bluetooth settings, choose to pair a new device and look for K12 or Karaoke Speaker.
• Switch the speaker off when you have finished, so it lets go of your phone.

Booster seat

A booster that straps onto an ordinary dining chair, with a tray that comes off.

• The label on the seat gives the age it is suitable from. Read it before you use it.
• Sit it on the chair, then fasten the strap around the chair back and the strap under the seat, and pull both tight.
• The harness clips together at the front: both sides click into the centre buckle, and the centre releases them.
• The tray pushes on, and comes off by squeezing the release either side underneath.
• Check the straps, buckles and tray each time, and stop and tell me if anything is missing, damaged or does not look right.

Ceramic hob

Four radiant zones under glass, with touch controls along the front. Nothing responds until the hob itself is switched on.

• Press the on/off key. Every zone shows 0.
• Touch the key for the zone you want. Its number stays bright while the others dim.
• Set the power with + or −, from 0 to 9. Pressing − at 0 jumps straight to 9.
• To change a zone later, select that zone again first, then adjust it.
• H in a display means residual heat: the glass is still too hot to touch even with the zone off.
• If nothing is pressed within twenty seconds of switching on, the hob drops back to standby.
• Zones do switch themselves off in the end — after six hours on 1–2, five on 3–4, four on 5 and ninety minutes on 6–9.
• Child lock, with every zone in standby: press − and the far left zone key together, wait for the beep, then press the far left zone key again. L appears in all four displays. The same two keys release it.
• ER03 flashing with H means something is resting on the controls. Clear the glass and let it cool.

Coffee machine

A Nescafé Dolce Gusto. It takes Dolce Gusto pods, and the lever on top does the pouring.

• Check there is water in the tank at the back.
• Press the power button and give it about thirty seconds to heat. The light settles to green.
• Lift the head, drop the pod into the holder and close it.
• Push the lever right for a hot drink, left for a cold one, and back to the centre to stop the flow.
• It does not stop by itself, so watch the cup rather than the clock.
• Drinks that come as two pods letter them A and B. Run A first, then B, into the same cup.

Cordless iron

It has no cable of its own. It takes its heat from the stand and holds it while you work, so it goes back on the stand between garments.

• Fill it with the front raised: open the inlet cover and pour slowly, never past max, so the air can get out.
• Set the temperature first, then sit the iron on the stand and switch the stand on.
• The status light says where it is: steady red heating, flashing green ready, flashing red still usable but cooling, three beeps means back on the stand now, and a slow red pulse means it has shut itself off.
• Work coolest to hottest — one dot for nylon, acrylic and polyester, two for wool, three or max for cotton and linen. Where the fabric label disagrees with that, the label wins.
• Steam needs the temperature at the steam mark or above. The spray button may take two or three presses to prime.
• Leave four seconds between shots of steam.
• Dry ironing for twenty minutes or more: empty the water out first, or it will spit at you.
• Vertical steaming works on hanging clothes and curtains. Hold it close but not touching, and check nothing behind the fabric can be damaged by the steam.

Dishwasher

The detergent dispenser is not working at the moment, so drop the tablet straight into the bottom of the machine instead. Everything else is exactly as normal and it washes just as well.

The cycle then begins when the door closes rather than when you press anything.

• Pull out the lower basket and load that first, then the upper one.
• Drop one dishwasher tablet into the bottom of the machine — not the dispenser, while that is out of action.
• Open the door and press the power button.
• Press P until the programme you want is showing, then close the door. It starts on its own.
• Rough running times: Rapid half an hour, 90 mins an hour and a half, Intensive two hours fifty, Normal three hours, Eco three hours ten.
• Eco uses the least water and electricity of the five, so it is the one to reach for when you are not waiting on the plates.
• Change your mind early: open the door a little to stop it, wait for the spray arm, then hold P for three seconds and choose again. Once the tablet has started to dissolve you need a fresh one.

Electric oven

Two knobs with a touch panel between them. One knob picks the cooking function, the other sets the temperature, and the panel holds the clock and the timers.

• Turn the function knob to the symbol you want: fan, static, turbo, grill, faster grill, double grill with fan, or defrost.
• Turn the thermostat knob to the temperature. Its light stays lit while the oven is heating or holding that heat.
• Give it about ten minutes to preheat. Static suits one shelf at a time; turbo and fan cook evenly on every shelf.
• Grill with the oven door closed, at 190°C, with a tray under the food to catch the drips.
• Defrost runs the fan without heat. Third shelf from the bottom, tray underneath for the melting ice.
• For a minute minder, press the bell key, set the time with + and −, and wait for the bell symbol to stop flashing. Pressing + or − silences it when it sounds.
• The clock has to be set before any oven function will run. If the display is flashing 0.00, press M and set the time with + and −.
• Pyr is the pyrolytic cleaning cycle. It locks the door, gets extremely hot and needs the oven completely empty, shelves and supports included. You will not need it for a stay.

Fridge freezer

The book in the house is about storing food rather than the controls, so this is the useful half of it. If something is not staying cold, tell me rather than changing the setting.

• Let hot food cool to room temperature before it goes in.
• Onions, garlic, ginger and other root vegetables keep better out of the fridge, and so do ripe bananas, melon, pineapple and squash.
• Take the leaves off carrots and turnips before they go in.
• Freeze in small portions. They freeze faster and defrost far better.
• Defrosted food should not go back in the freezer unless it is cooked first.
• Fill the ice tray about three-quarters full. If the cubes stick, stand the tray in warm water for a moment rather than levering them out with a knife.

Heating

A Nest thermostat at the bottom of the stairs, with thermostatic valves on the radiators.

• Turn the outer ring up for warmer, down for cooler.
• Press the ring towards the wall to see more options, turn to choose one, and press again to confirm.
• Radiators have their own valves if one room wants less than the rest.
• Please do not reset, dismantle or remove any heating control. If the house is not warming as you would expect, message me and I will sort it.

Kettle

Nothing complicated, but two things catch people out: the minimum fill and the lid.

• Fill it with at least one cup of water and never above the max mark. There are 1, 2 and 3 cup marks inside.
• Close the lid and press it down until it locks.
• Sit it on the stand and move the switch to I. The light comes on.
• It switches itself off when the water boils. To stop it sooner, move the switch to O or lift it off the stand.
• Moisture on the stand afterwards is the steam that switched it off. Nothing is leaking.

Kitchen scales

Flat digital scales with two buttons. TARE does the switching on, the zeroing and the switching off; UNIT does everything else.

• Stand them on something solid and level, with the bowl already on top if you are using one.
• Press TARE to switch them on and wait for 0.
• Put the ingredient on. Press TARE again to zero it and weigh the next thing into the same bowl.
• UNIT moves between weight, water volume and milk volume. Hold UNIT for three seconds to swap grams for pounds and ounces, or millilitres for fluid ounces.
• A minus number means something has been lifted off. Press TARE to clear it.
• Lo means the batteries are going — tell me. Err means too much weight on the plate, so take it off straight away.
• They switch off on their own two minutes after you stop, or hold TARE for three seconds.

Microwave

700 watts, with two dials: power on top, timer underneath. The timer is also the start button, so set the power first.

• Turn the top dial to the power you want: High for quick cooking, M.High for normal, Med for slow, M.Low for drinks and soup, Defrost, or Low to keep something warm.
• Turn the lower dial to the number of minutes. It starts the moment you turn it.
• Thirty minutes is the longest it will take.
• It counts back to zero, sounds a tone and stops.
• To stop it early, turn the timer dial back to zero.

Portable heater

A Herschel infrared panel, 500 watts. It warms you rather than the room, so it has to be near where you are actually sitting. It is the one to reach for when you are still for a while — reading, working, watching television — and want a bit of extra warmth around you.

• Stand it on its own feet, on a level floor, close to where you are sitting and facing you.
• It gets hot to the touch, so give some thought to where it goes — particularly with children in the room.
• Keep at least 400mm clear in front of it. Anything pressed up against the panel takes the warmth instead of you.
• Out in the room rather than tucked into a corner, and not behind furniture or curtains.
• It tops the heating up, it does not replace it. For warming the whole house, use the thermostat.
• The sheet in the house covers where to stand it rather than its controls, so ask me if you cannot get it going.

Toaster

A browning dial, a lever, and three buttons that most people never find.

• Set the browning control: 1 is light, 6 is dark.
• Bread goes in the slots, up to 26mm thick, and the lever presses fully down. It will not lock down unless the toaster is plugged in and switched on at the wall.
• The toast pops up on its own. To stop it early, press the eject button.
• You can lift the lever mid-toast to look, then lower it again, and lift it higher than usual to get a small slice out.
• Frozen bread: lower the lever, then press the snowflake button. It lengthens the time for you.
• Toast gone cold: lower the lever, then press the reheat button for a short burst of heat.
• Yesterday's bread, thin slices, tea cakes and fruit loaf all brown faster. Drop a setting.

Travel cot

The order matters on this one. All four top rails lock first and the centre hub goes down last, and it will not go together safely any other way.

• Take it out of the bag, pull back the Velcro straps and set the mattress aside.
• Lift each of the four top rails until it clicks and locks. They should end up horizontal and rigid.
• If a rail will not click, check the centre hub is still raised. Do not force it.
• With all four locked, lift one end and press the centre hub firmly down. The safety lock engages by itself.
• Put the mattress in padded side up, feed its Velcro straps through the holes in the base and fasten them underneath.
• Never use it unless all four rails are fully engaged, the centre foot is flat on the floor and the mattress is in.
• To fold it: mattress out, centre hub up at least halfway, then lift each rail in the middle, squeeze the button underneath and drop it. Pull the hub the rest of the way up and draw the four corners in.

Washer dryer

It washes and dries in the same drum, so the drying choice has to be made before the wash starts if you want it to run straight through. The dial has an OFF position, and every cycle begins and ends there.

• Load it, add detergent, and close the door properly before you touch anything else.
• Turn the dial to the programme you need. The display shows the typical time for it.
• Cottons and Whites take the biggest load, Rapid 14, 30 or 44 minutes the smallest. All In One 59 Min. is the useful middle for a normal mixed load.
• Temperature and spin have their own buttons and can only come down from the programme's maximum. Every temperature light off is a cold wash.
• For drying in the same run, press the drying selection button before you start and choose extra dry, iron dry or cupboard dry.
• Press START/PAUSE. It can sit for a few seconds before anything happens.
• End appears and the DOOR LOCKED light goes out. Wait for that light to be out before you open the door.
• Turn the dial back to OFF at the end of every cycle, before the next one is chosen.
• To add something you forgot: hold START/PAUSE for two seconds, wait for the DOOR LOCKED light to go out, check the water is below the door opening, add it, close the door and press START/PAUSE again.
• To cancel: turn the dial to OFF and give it two minutes to release the door. If it was drying, there is a ten to twenty minute cool-down first.
• Delay start goes up to 24 hours. Press the delay button until the hours you want show, then confirm with START/PAUSE.
• If the buttons stop responding, the key lock is probably on. Press the temperature and spin buttons together for three seconds to lock or unlock them.

Guides I have not written yet

There is no guide here yet for the television and remotes, the safe, the Gro Clock or the shower. They are on my list. Until they arrive, send me a WhatsApp on the number in your booking confirmation and I will talk you through it.

The same goes for anything that does not match what you have read here — different buttons, different lights, something missing or damaged. Please stop rather than experiment, and ask me.